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“Hello, Imogen,” you say, and my knees feel weak at your voice. “Hello, sorry I took so long to get here; I had an extra report to read.” “Well, you’ve certainly kept me waiting in anticipation.” You say with a cheeky little grin. “You look cold, let’s warm you up.” You take my hand and kiss my frozen cheek before leading me into the room. The bed is as wonderful as I’d imagined. It has crisp white sheets and a cosy looking duvet. The headboard is simply, yet effectively carved to resemble a fleur de lis with other flowers around it. There are sliding doors onto a balcony which are covered by floor to ceiling white satin drapes. There is a table on which stands a mirror, a television, an electric kettle and a small basket full of teabags, coffee sachets and sugar packets. Your bag is beneath the table- a large leather hold-all. You take my coat and hang it on the back of a chair. I put my handbag on the table, and next to it, my mobile phone. I hope I don’t get any calls tonight. I. The ‘violator’ has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.Under cross examination the defense attorney asks;“Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?”The Officer responds, “Yes, sir, that is the defendant’s copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top.”Lawyer: “Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don’t normally make?”Officer: “Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an “AH,” underlined.”“What does the “AH” stand for, officer?”“Aggressive and hostile, Sir.”“Aggressive and hostile?”“Yes, Sir.“Officer, are you sure it doesn’t stand for asshole?”“Well, sir, you know your client better than I do!”How often does a lawyer get to convict his own client?This one is compliments of BillTwo Irish men were digging a ditch in.
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